THE ANTICRASTINATION TIP SHEET
From Rita Emmett
Author of The Procrastinator's Handbook and
The Clutter-Busting Handbook
Quotes for November
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which
you really stop to look fear in the face... The danger lies in refusing
to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it... You must
make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you
cannot do. --- Eleanor Roosevelt
We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.
--- John F. Kennedy
November Message from Rita: Sometimes You Just Do It Scared
Bruce & I are both in our second marriage and we have a “blended family”
of 5 kids. Last night one of our four sons, Robb, surprised his wife
Misha on their anniversary by renewing their wedding vows. He told her
he was taking her to a restaurant, and instead blindfolded her, drove
in zig-zags & circles to keep her confused, and brought her to their
We were all inside waiting for them. He walked her in, and removed her
blindfold. Then in the church aisle, Robb --- who hates to be the center
of attention & would never, ever want to be on a stage or in front of
a crowd -- knelt down as if to propose and asked Misha if she would
marry him again.
Our instructions were that if she says yes we should all cheer, and
if she says no, we might as well get up and go homeJ
After the ceremony, we went to the church hall where we had chicken,
pasta & salad, everyone brought homemade goodies for the sweet table
and we all brought tons of soda. There were about 70 people and the
more-than-twenty kids went to the far end and played basket ball, dodge
ball and ran around in circles.
Misha said she’s always wanted to do this, but never had the time or
energy to plan it. Yesterday, she had a dream come true -- the spiritual
ceremony to publicly renew their commitment to each other; then was
hostess to a fabulous party with their family and friends. She LOVED
that he did it all and she did not have to lift a finger to put together
this gala event.
Can you imagine all the things that could have gone wrong in this plan?
Especially since all three of their kids got the flu two weeks earlier,
and 4 days before, Robb had serious surgery to repair cartilage that
had been ripped from the bone in his shoulder during an “incident” while
on duty as a cop.
When I asked him if he thought all that pain might cause him to cancel
Renewing their Vows, he replied if we let obstacles stop us, nobody
would ever get anything done. He said if he had to be carried into the
church, he was going to go up that aisle with Misha. He took a risk
to pull off a romantic gift for his wife, and it worked beautifully.
She told him that for the whole next year, every time he messes up,
he will be absolved because of last night.
Making a grand gesture to show your love means taking risks. And the
biggest obstacle is fear. When I give a keynote or a seminar, I talk
about the fears that can cause us to procrastinate. And I tell the audience
that I don’t know how to make fear go away; there are some things we
just have to do scared.
When people think of “doing something scared”, they usually think of
activities – speaking in front of a group, going back to school, asking
for a raise, interviewing for a job, starting a business, learning to
But hearing family and friends talking together at the Renewal of Vows
party, so many people commented on how they’d love to do something like
this but would be scared of all that could go wrong. And it occurred
to me that many people pass up the chance to enrich -- or start -- a
relationship because of fear.
Fear of the person not responding the way they want.
Fear of the plan not working.
Fear that we might say the wrong words.
Fear of looking stupid or foolish.
Fear of being embarrassed or misunderstood.
Fear of not having total control of the situation.
Fear of … taking a risk.
Even the most courageous people can be paralyzed by fear when it comes
to relationships. Have you ever skipped doing something for a relationship
THAT YOU REALLY WANTED TO DO because you were shy or afraid to do it?
Like telling your parents that they are good parents?
Or visiting a friend who has cancer?
Or going over to introduce yourself to that new person on your block
or at work?
Or asking someone you would like to get to know to join you for lunch
Or calling up someone who is grieving over a death?
Or making some kind of commitment?
Or writing a note to someone who has helped you in your life?
Or doing something wildly and outrageously romantic for someone you
I used to think that courage was not feeling fear. But a friend who
has three times served in Iraq told me that courage is “feeling terrified
yet doing what you gotta do anyway.”
So today, decide to take a risk and say, write or do something you’ve
been meaning to do but kept making excuses. Decide to be courageous.
Your words might give your parents the best gift ever, or you might
brighten someone’s day or might make a new friend. OR your spouse might
give you “advanced forgiveness” for all the messing up you do during
the next year just because you did something wildly, outrageously romantic.
(Speaking of messing up – be sure to read about the fabulous free offer
below to make up for my messing up last month.)
Super Special Offer
Well, last month I announced that a 90-minute teleseminar on “Sentimental
Clutter” would be free of charge. But I was not the one running the
program, it was run by a woman named Stephanie and I found out it
free but ONLY to the people who subscribed to Stephanie’s Club.
We had MANY people who were terribly disappointed, so here is my offer.
and you can receive – free of charge --- the first two chapters of my
book, The Clutter-Busting Handbook. This includes the Chapter on Sentimental
For those of you swamped by momentos and memorabilia, you will learn
a lot. AND you will find ways to say good-bye to your sentimental clutter
without breaking your heart or sobbing like a baby poodle.
for your two free chapters. Enjoy!
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