Rita Emmett's November Tip Sheet

November 2009
From Rita Emmett
Author of The Procrastinator's Handbook and
The Clutter-Busting Handbook

Quotes for November

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it... You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do. --- Eleanor Roosevelt

We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.
--- John F. Kennedy

November Message from Rita: SOMETIMES YOU JUST DO IT SCARED

Bruce & I are both in our second marriage and we have a “blended family” of 5 kids. Last night one of our four sons, Robb, surprised his wife Misha on their anniversary by renewing their wedding vows. He told her he was taking her to a restaurant, and instead blindfolded her, drove in zig-zags & circles to keep her confused, and brought her to their church.

We were all inside waiting for them. He walked her in, and removed her blindfold. Then in the church aisle, Robb --- who hates to be the center of attention & would never, ever want to be on a stage or in front of a crowd -- knelt down as if to propose and asked Misha if she would marry him again.

Our instructions were that if she says yes we should all cheer, and if she says no, we might as well get up and go homeJ

After the ceremony, we went to the church hall where we had chicken, pasta & salad, everyone brought homemade goodies for the sweet table and we all brought tons of soda. There were about 70 people and the more-than-twenty kids went to the far end and played basket ball, dodge ball and ran around in circles.

Misha said she’s always wanted to do this, but never had the time or energy to plan it. Yesterday, she had a dream come true -- the spiritual ceremony to publicly renew their commitment to each other; then was hostess to a fabulous party with their family and friends. She LOVED that he did it all and she did not have to lift a finger to put together this gala event.

Can you imagine all the things that could have gone wrong in this plan? Especially since all three of their kids got the flu two weeks earlier, and 4 days before, Robb had serious surgery to repair cartilage that had been ripped from the bone in his shoulder during an “incident” while on duty as a cop.

When I asked him if he thought all that pain might cause him to cancel Renewing their Vows, he replied if we let obstacles stop us, nobody would ever get anything done. He said if he had to be carried into the church, he was going to go up that aisle with Misha. He took a risk to pull off a romantic gift for his wife, and it worked beautifully.

She told him that for the whole next year, every time he messes up, he will be absolved because of last night.

Making a grand gesture to show your love means taking risks. And the biggest obstacle is fear. When I give a keynote or a seminar, I talk about the fears that can cause us to procrastinate. And I tell the audience that I don’t know how to make fear go away; there are some things we just have to do scared.

When people think of “doing something scared”, they usually think of activities – speaking in front of a group, going back to school, asking for a raise, interviewing for a job, starting a business, learning to tap dance.

But hearing family and friends talking together at the Renewal of Vows party, so many people commented on how they’d love to do something like this but would be scared of all that could go wrong. And it occurred to me that many people pass up the chance to enrich -- or start -- a relationship because of fear.
Fear of the person not responding the way they want.
Fear of the plan not working.
Fear that we might say the wrong words.
Fear of looking stupid or foolish.
Fear of being embarrassed or misunderstood.
Fear of not having total control of the situation.
Fear of … taking a risk.

Even the most courageous people can be paralyzed by fear when it comes to relationships. Have you ever skipped doing something for a relationship THAT YOU REALLY WANTED TO DO because you were shy or afraid to do it?
Like telling your parents that they are good parents?
Or visiting a friend who has cancer?
Or going over to introduce yourself to that new person on your block or at work?
Or asking someone you would like to get to know to join you for lunch or coffee?
Or calling up someone who is grieving over a death?
Or making some kind of commitment?
Or writing a note to someone who has helped you in your life?
Or doing something wildly and outrageously romantic for someone you love?

I used to think that courage was not feeling fear. But a friend who has three times served in Iraq told me that courage is “feeling terrified yet doing what you gotta do anyway.”

So today, decide to take a risk and say, write or do something you’ve been meaning to do but kept making excuses. Decide to be courageous.

Your words might give your parents the best gift ever, or you might brighten someone’s day or might make a new friend. OR your spouse might give you “advanced forgiveness” for all the messing up you do during the next year just because you did something wildly, outrageously romantic.

(Speaking of messing up – be sure to read about the fabulous free offer below to make up for my messing up last month.)

Well, last month I announced that a 90-minute teleseminar on “Sentimental Clutter” would be free of charge. But I was not the one running the program, it was run by a woman named Stephanie and I found out it WAS free but ONLY to the people who subscribed to Stephanie’s Club.

We had MANY people who were terribly disappointed, so here is my offer. Click here http://www.ritaemmett.com/clutter-chapters.htm and you can receive – free of charge --- the first two chapters of my book, The Clutter-Busting Handbook. This includes the Chapter on Sentimental Clutter.

For those of you swamped by momentos and memorabilia, you will learn a lot. AND you will find ways to say good-bye to your sentimental clutter without breaking your heart or sobbing like a baby poodle. Click here http://www.ritaemmett.com/clutter-chapters.htm for your two free chapters. Enjoy!


Please share this Tip Sheet with 2 or 3 friends who would be interested. And feel free to use this message in your blog or newsletter, as long as you include my bio and contact info:

Rita Emmett
Author of The Procrastinator's Handbook,
The Clutter-Busting Handbook and
Manage Your Time to Reduce Your Stress: A Handbook for the Overworked, Overscheduled, and Overwhelmed
2331 Eastview
Des Plaines, IL 60018


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